Jingle This
Gin and tonic in hand, raffle tickets sitting in my pocket, and the latest Madonna blaring all around me, I braved the Kenneth Cole-scented gauntlet that was the holiday fundraiser thrown by the Junior Hollywood Radio and Television Society last Tuesday night.
You’d think I would become tired of the young Hollywood scene, but when there is an open bar, raffle prizes, and a hefty gift bag thrown in, I do not hesitate to don my Tuesday best and spritz myself with a little DKNY.
First was parking. I drove to my secret spot off Lauren Canyon above Sunset; there was no way I was going to put myself through the vehicular hell of valet. Second was the wait outside Privilege, or what used to be the club known as Shelter. I briefly chatted with a girl named Erin who survived the giant layoffs at Warner Brothers, and spotted my friend Zadoc, fresh off his promotion to Lit Coordinator at Paradigm, working the will call tables (he’s a board member). Next was the beeline towards the raffle tables. I’m still crossing my fingers for the HBO DVD set and spa treatment package.
Due to my admirable ability to arrive early/on-time, I jumped on my first drink without waiting in line. I couldn’t keep track of how many random acquaintances I bumped into. Alan, a super-friendly set PA I first met during my Carsey-Werner days. Tyson, the blonde BU alum who was an actress on "Bay State" and is now over at NBCUniversal. Chad, another BUer I had met once at a party during my senior year, now an L.A. newbie. Adam, the assistant to the Sony exec I talk to over the phone almost every day. And Jeff, the former roommate of a friend who sits at a desk for a development exec at ForgotTheName studio.
My friend Pearl finally showed up with her United Talent Agency posse; they had a table reserved for them in a little velvet enclave that was poorly candlelit. We headed back to the bar, which was now covered by a swarm of industryites, and waited a good twenty minutes for our drinks. I asked myself: why do we put ourselves through this? What masochistic tendencies do we possess that allows us to squish ourselves into a claustrophobic and noisy space, kill our feet standing around for an eternity for a cocktail we’ll consume in half the time, and maneuver our way through a crowd of conflicting colognes without getting an elbow jab in the ribs and a splash of cosmo on our just-purchased Dolce & Gabbana? And forget having a conversation on a cell phone. Why bother answering your Motorola razor just to receive updates from the friend who is still waiting outside in the cold, trying to woo the bouncer/hot-girl-with-a-clipboard who will never let him in?
This morning, while waiting in line for my peppermint mocha-vanilla ice blended at Coffee Bean, a woman standing in front of me, chatting furiously on her cell, ordered her extra foamy latte ("Very foamy! I like a lot of foam!") and never looked up at the barista, who I’m sure wanted to throw the steaming contents of the cup in her face. This woman paid no attention whatsover to those around her. Once she got her order, she jetted out the door before the obligatory "Have a nice day" could be muttered by the college-aged coffee server.
I hope a ghost in chains visits that callous witch come December 24.
We are now less than three weeks away from the last day of the year, and normally, dear readers, you’d find a year-in-review rant provided by yours truly. Well, I’m here to tell you that this year…you will find nothing has changed. <taking a swig of water> Ahem…
First, a personal look back:
January was a craptacular time in my life - unemployed, filling in a horrible temp position at a management firm that was going down the tubes, having a near-soap-opera-like breakdown, getting drenched by the rain that flooded the city, and feeling bluer than a corpse at the bottom of the Hudson River. Spring offered a much-needed ray of light. I found myself back at Carsey-Werner, working on a pilot with old friends and co-workers. It was a two-month gig that felt like going back home. However, the pilot was never picked up; my bubble was popped. Summer was near. I worked my connections, freelanced for a former boss, temped for a friend, and though the skies were sunny and clear, my career was in a fog. Then came July 20, the day I met Jack Kenny over a cup of coffee on Sunset. I swear I could hear the angels singing for me as I walked back to my car as a newly appointed assistant to the showrunner of an NBC drama. Autumn found me comfortably situated in an office on La Brea, working for a big-time producer, living in a manor, and growing attached to a Great Dane that woke me up every morning at eight. Destination reached…well, kind of. NBC cut the order short to 7 episodes of "The Book of Daniel," and production in New York stopped after Thanksgiving, three months earlier than expected. At least we got an airdate…
***BIG NOTE: "THE BOOK OF DANIEL" WILL DEBUT ON NBC JANUARY 6 AT 9:00PM AS A TWO-HOUR PREMIERE EVENT. You’ve probably been catching the quirky network promos (I just viewed them minutes ago). Not only do I want you lovely, beautiful people to tune in and watch, I want you to shout it from the rooftops and tell your friends/co-workers/significant others/mailmen/grocery store clerks/OB-GYNs to watch as well. Hell, TiVo it to your heart’s content if you can.
…And now for our 2005 pop-culture portion of the program:
Tom knocked up Katie. Ashton said "I do." Mother Nature bitchslapped Mother Earth with Katrina, Wilma, and her other cronies. Summer movies were lame. We lost Gilligan as well as the Fisher clan on "Six Feet Under." Britney popped out Sean Preston. Oprah and Dave made nice. Bush’s approval rating plummeted (as expected). And we all couldn’t escape the phenomenon I like to call "Mariah: Ressurrected."
Movie Picks of 2005:
1. "Crash" - a gripping character study about messed-up Los Angelenos.
2. "Heights" - a gripping character drama about, what else, messed-up Manhattanites (Glenn Close stealing the show, of course).
3. "War of the Worlds" - the most exciting and shocking popcorn flick of ‘05.
4. "Bride and Prejudice" - colorful, vibrant, and refreshing cross-cultural magic…I dare you not to smile throughout its entirety. Plus, you get to see Sayid from "Lost" dance in a musical number!
5. "Jarhead" - one of the most visually beautiful (and polarizing) movies of the year.
6. "King Kong" - Peter Jackson could remake "Ishtar" and probably get another Oscar nod out of it.
7. "Brokeback Mountain" - Simply calling it "a gay cowboy movie" is a disservice to Ang Lee’s poignant portrait of an epic romance and powerhouse performances by a cast of young Hollywood heavyhitters.
8. "Rent" - not quite what I had hoped for a big-screen adaptation, but the music and performances are still exhilirating 10 years after debuting on the Great White Way.
9. "Batman Begins" - Deeply psychological and intellectual is how I like my comic book movies.
Other Notables:
1. Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette in "In Her Shoes"
2. Steve Carell in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin"
3. The now teenagers in "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"
4. Newcomer Bryan Greenburg in "Prime"
5. "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe"
Music Picks of 2005 (if you haven’t heard them, take a trip to iTunes now):
1. "Ashes" by Embrace - A stand-up-and-feel-awesome anthem by a worthy Coldplay clone.
2. "Hung Up" by Madonna - Best Dance Record of the Year. Period.
3. "Music" by Leela James - An achingly soulful commentary on the current state of pop music.
4. Backstreet Boys’ video for "Just Want You to Know" - Who knew these aging "boys" could make the funniest and most brilliant video of their careers? It’s all about the mullets.
5. "1 Thing" by Amerie - Call it the poor man’s "Crazy in Love," you can’t help but shake that proverbial booty.
6. Daniel Powter’s self-titled debut album - Think of him as a one-man British Maroon 5. But with a higher pitched voice. Only available on iTunes, not in U.S. stores (tsk-tsk, America).
7. "Crazy" by Alanis Morissette - The future Mrs. Ryan Reynolds covers what she calls one of her favorite songs (Remember those Gap ads?). The James Michaels Mix is the one to download and the one featured in the video in which our once-angsty angel goes glam and delivers a nifty surprise ending.
8. "Steppin’ Out" by Kaskade - I featured this deejay’s groovy lounge track on my Myspace page.
9. "Did You Get My Message?" by Jason Mraz featuring an uncredited Rachael Yamagata - A bluesy track from the singer-songwriter’s sophomoric outing about how we can easily misinterpret each other.
10. "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna - Disposable, yes. But that’s what irresistible summer tracks are.
TV Picks of 2005:
1. "Veronica Mars" (UPN) - More than just a New Millennium Nancy Drew. I finally got around to Netflixing the first season before getting lost in the second, and I have found one of the best written dramas on TV today. Lily’s murder. The bus crash. And Logan! Almost makes me want to say, "Buffy who?"
2. The second-season premiere of "Lost" (ABC) - Whoa.
3. "Kept" on VH1 - Jerry Hall + 12 American dudes clueless in Europe = 1 summer guilty pleasure.
4. "Battlestar Galactica" - Sci-Fi Channel’s still got it.
5. "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS) - Cute. Fresh. A long-overdue jolt to the sitcom system. And who knew Neil Patrick Harris could play such an enjoyable cad?
Disappointments:
1. "The O.C." - B.O.R.I.N.G.
2. "Alias" - The death of Vaughn? Please. You know Syd’s baby daddy ain’t gone, and I don’t want to like the new cast. And yes, I’m not surprised this is its final season. At least they brought Sark back.
If you’ve made it this far in this entry, congrats! I had just as much fun writing it. I look forward to having more fun brainstorming my next entry when I go back to New York to collect more fodder while handing out gifts, enjoying the winter chill, and devouring calories so astronomical the highest dosage of TrimSpa couldn’t burn off.
Hoping all of your New Year’s resolutions last more than a week,
H.P.M
"Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten." – Natasha Bedingfield
